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Beauty and skills; choreography and character. At least, that’s what I was hoping for when I attended a special early screening of Haywire. The movie was ostensibly designed to help former MMA fighter Gina Carano shine in the spotlight, showcasing the kickboxing skills (and striking beauty) that she’s known for. Unfortunately, the movie falls short.

Carano’s character is Mallory Kane, a highly skilled security contractor whose work takes her all over the globe in a twisted mess of assignments. The plot is hard to follow, so one would hope to find resonance with the main character. Unfortunately, Carano’s voice was digitally altered and replaced with a more robotic version, reminiscent of Captain Janeway in Star Trek: Voyager. She’s also given very amateur lines, such as “Oh yeah” and “I don’t think so,” to be fair–so she didn’t have much to work with to get the audience to care about her character–and they didn’t.

Though the storyline is confusing, the basic version is that Mallory Kane was betrayed by someone close to her during or maybe after a mission, and spends the movie trying to figure out why. So basically, a lot of guys try to kill her and she fights back. The fight scenes are pretty decent, but I’d already seen the best footage in the trailers and was really hoping for more. Luckily, there are other movies that fit the genre better. Wanna see smart action movies? The Bourne series is one of the best. Wanna see a beautiful woman who can kick ass AND act? Go see Salt. Want to see a badass chick who’s gorgeous and vulnerable and has depth to her character? Go see Girl With the Dragon Tattoo. Diehard Gina Carano fans will see this movie despite any reviews, but hopefully this one will serve as a warning to lower your expectations.

3 Comments
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  1. Shawn says:

    Salt!?! You’re holding up Salt as anything other than complete shite? Now I know you’re tastes are suspect and look forward to relishing this movie!!!!

    Thanks for freeing my conscience!

  2. Tony says:

    It got a bad review on the FightNerd site too http://www.thefightnerd.com/movie-review-haywire/

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